Category Archives: Uncategorized

MoneyBags

Cornered by the glass wash by a large, dominating man in his sixties, who according to Beardybarman, is substantially loaded. “My friend would like to talk to you. He’s seen you, and likes what he sees.” “Does he? Well that’s … Continue reading

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Wheelchair Politics Ep. 2

The old man in the wheelchair has been back again. We are quickly becoming mortal enemies. He refuses to come anywhere near the bar, and I refuse to serve him from his sofa at the back of the pub where … Continue reading

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Greenwich Mean Time

8.55am. Bank holiday Monday. “Which clock are you going by? The one on the wall, or the one on your till?” “The one on my till.” “Right… but what does your till clock say? Because my watch is set to … Continue reading

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Wheelchair Politics

Called over to the disabled toilet by a concerned customer sitting nearby who had apparently heard shouting coming from inside. I open up the first door to find the inside door propped open and an angry elderly man with his … Continue reading

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Here Comes the Sun..

A new pub policy is the revised opening time of 7am. This, i feel, only makes pensioners feel slightly less shameful about being at the bar for 9am on the dot for their regulation ale (pint of). A 7am start … Continue reading

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The Catwalk Queen

FormerModel appeared today after a seven week absence. Having fallen over outside the pub and then been taken to hospital for further tests, the verdict came back as liver failure. Seven weeks without a Carlsberg seems to have crippled her: … Continue reading

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The Morning Post

PostmanPat has not been in for a while. This is not a shame; the last time he came in he got so drunk it became apparently acceptable to take zoomed-in phone camera shots of my breasts and tell BeardyBarman he … Continue reading

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