Here Comes the Sun..

A new pub policy is the revised opening time of 7am. This, i feel, only makes pensioners feel slightly less shameful about being at the bar for 9am on the dot for their regulation ale (pint of). A 7am start allows them a two hour no-alcohol grace period  in which to drink several coffees, allow their body odour to acclimatise and become just about tolerable within the pub air conditioning system, and be at the bar for 8.55am, where the final 5 minutes are spent boring eyeholes into the Directors pump and the irritable barassociate guarding it.

Say all you like about pubs being a good place for alcoholics – yes, here they can be monitored and called an ambulance for if necessary – but if nothing else, the early opening times really do strip an alcoholic of any remaining shame, or indeed doubt about the emptiness of their lives.

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