Lovely customer no.3 of the week has just brought his plate of Bolognese back to the bar. He wants to know if the portions are usually this small, and if not, could he have some more (please sir)? It is difficult to skirt around the fact that the meal has arrived in our kitchen, pre-cooked, in a polystyrene tub, and before reaching his plate has been microwaved for 3minutes, emptied unceremoniously into a bowl, and brought to his table… and so therefore, there is no more. Because more would require another package of microwavable goods, and cooking extra portions at no extra cost is the ultimate sin, and to be avoided at all costs.

The conversation is just about navigable, but it is a close one, especially with the wounded puppy face he throws over his shoulder as he backs off towards his girlfriend and the remains of microwaved meaty pasta.

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